Don't Ruin Thanksgiving Before the Turkey...

 

I love Thanksgiving: it’s about family and food, without the trappings of the presents at Christmas. That’s good news and bad news, as Patrick O’Connor laid out here.

As Thanksgiving approaches, I have a request for colleges: PLEASE… for the love of all things good in the world… don’t release decisions on Thanksgiving!

Don’t think this happens? Allow me to relate:

Thanksgiving, 2020. It was already an odd day: do we go somewhere or not? Capacity limits? Masks? Darwinism?

We were getting ready to go to my sister’s, and I was making the sweet potato casserole my daughters are both completely in awe of and request every holiday. As I took care of one task, I felt my phone buzz. Thinking it was my sister reminding me to bring something or another, I checked. 

It was an email from my daughter’s top choice school: “Your decision is available in your portal.”

Suddenly, I lost track of the vanilla and butter in the sweet potatoes; I could have added jalapenos for all I knew. It was Thanksgiving morning, before noon, things were good and calm, and we were getting ready to see family for the first time in a while.

And now a college decision was looming.

My hope that my daughter didn’t notice the email was dashed when I heard “DAAAAAADDDDD!” from down the hall. She came into the kitchen, no color in her face. “What do I do?”

My wife and I traded confused looks, unsure how to answer. “What do you want to do?” I asked, trading on my re-phrasing and questioning learned in counseling school.

“I want to know, but I also want to enjoy Aunt Deb’s. I don’t know. But if I don’t open it, I will spend the whole day wondering.”

We looked at each other, and then said to her the words that I always told parents to say to kids: “OK… remember that this decision isn’t an indication of your self-worth. We love you no matter what.”

“Whatever… I need to find my password.”

We were fortunate: the decision was a positive one, and the smile on her face all day was infectious. That said, I didn’t need that heart attack before I could even get some of the bacon-greased turkey skin in me.

So, dear colleagues in the admissions offices across the nation: please turn the notifications off until Friday. I mean, can you really improve or ruin Black Friday?

Have a wonderful, restful, Thanksgiving.